By Heidi Westfall, CEPA®, CPFA® and Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP, SLC Therapist, EMDR Therapist Utah
When people discuss women and finances, most conversations focus on budgeting, saving, or investing. But as a Wealth Advisor and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, we often see the women we work with bring something deeper that needs to be explored: the emotional aspects of money.
Women face unique financial pressures—many cultural—and they carry messages, expectations, and fears that shape their relationship with money long before they meet an advisor.
In our respective work with clients, we have both discovered some powerful truths: emotional clarity drives financial wellness, and solid financial knowledge strengthens that emotional clarity.
The Emotional Sides of Money: Why Therapy Helps Women Thrive
In therapy sessions, women often describe money in emotional terms:
- Shame about past financial mistakes
- Anxiety around budgeting
- Guilt about spending on themselves
- Fear of asking questions or setting boundaries
- Overwhelmed when planning for retirement or caregiving
This emotional landscape doesn’t reflect personal failure—it reflects lifelong social conditioning.
Many women grow up hearing conflicting messages like:
- “Be independent, but don’t be too assertive.”
- “Don’t rely on others, but don’t talk about money.”
- “Save for the future, but make sure everyone else is taken care of first.”
As a SLC therapist, I have found that therapy can help women identify their inherited beliefs, deconstruct them, and rewrite the narratives that no longer serve them into narratives and actions that align with their values and their authentic self. Therapy can also provide you with a compassionate, supportive relationship where you and I can name the very real, systemic, familial and personal factors getting in the way of your financial stability, security and independence as a women; work through your emotions and possible grief regarding these factors; and create plans for how you want to integrate this knowledge. The development of this safe, nonjudgmental space where we untangle and work through the powerful feelings and stories you have about money, as well as systemic factors, can be incredibly empowering to women who are looking to develop greater clarity and build confidence.
Why Women Need Financial Strategies That Reflect Their Real Lives
From the Advisory side, the numbers tell a clear story:
- Women still earn less across many industries.
- Women live longer, often requiring more retirement savings.
- Women frequently pause careers for caregiving.
- Women inherit wealth at increasing rates but often feel unprepared to manage it.
Despite these challenges, women tend to excel in long-term planning once they receive transparent information, supportive guidance, an advisor relationship, and collaborative tools.
Financial education empowers women to:
- Build emergency funds to reduce money anxiety
- Align spending with personal values
- Prepare for self-care as well as caregiving responsibilities
- Create long-term financial stability and retirement confidence
- Establish healthy boundaries with partners or family members
When financial advice is tailored to women, clarity replaces confusion—and empowerment replaces avoidance.
The Powerful Link Between Therapy and Financial Education
When women combine therapeutic work with financial strategy, something important happens:
Insight → Clarity → Action
- Therapy helps women understand how emotions, upbringing, and beliefs shape financial stress, and fosters insight and self-compassion regarding how systemic factors make achieving financial goals more challenging and difficult for women
- Financial education can turn those insights into a roadmap—one grounded in numbers, realities, goals, and values.
Together, they build financial wellness that lasts. Women who engage both sides often experience:
- Less fear around financial decisions
- Stronger self-advocacy
- Healthier communication with partners
- More confidence in long-term planning
- Investing that highly impacts financial success.
Long-term support helps women move from reactive to proactive, from overwhelmed to empowered.
Women can Improve Their Relationship with Money, Starting Now!
A. Name Your Money Story
Journal or reflect on prompts like:
- “The messages I got from my parents about money were…”
- “Money meant ______ in my childhood. “I don’t know where to start!”
- “I worry that money will…”
- “I feel confident when…”
This builds awareness—the foundation of financial empowerment.
B. Shift from Self-Judgment to Curiosity
Instead of “I’m bad with money,” try:
- “I’ve made some choices with money that I regret or see as a mistake, and moving forward, I’d like to develop better skills in that area by seeking the expertise and support of a professional.”
- “What’s the real source of my anxiety?”
- “What would support look like?”
Curiosity reduces shame and opens the door to learning.
C. Treat Emotions as Financial Data
Stress signals are not failures—they’re information. If something feels uncomfortable, off or confusing, it’s worth slowing the process down and exploring it in therapy and with your advisor.
D. Build Your Support Team
The strongest financial outcomes come from collaboration. A therapist addresses your emotions, money stories, and systemic contexts as a woman and unique individual; a financial advisor provides education, a transparent process, and focused support.
Women deserve it all.
Women Are Not Behind—They’re Undersupported. That Can Change Today.
Many women believe they’re “late to the game” or “bad with money.” In reality, you’re navigating financial systems that weren’t designed with you in mind.
You’re not behind.
You’re not alone.
And your relationship with money can change—deeply and permanently.
When women combine self-awareness with solid financial education and support, they gain more than stability. They gain agency, confidence, and long-term financial wellness.
About the Authors
Heidi Westfall, CEPA®, CPFA®
Heidi brings years of experience in financial services to her role as a wealth advisor. She grew up in a family that valued thinking outside the box—if they didn't know the answer or have the right part, they figured it out and made it better. She carries that resourcefulness into her work today, helping clients build comprehensive plans and investment strategies tailored to their lives.
Her clients include business owners, financially independent women, and people focused on building legacies or pursuing financial independence. She works as a financial hub, bringing all aspects of a client's financial life together and guiding them through the right questions to pursue their goals.
Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP, SLC Therapist, EMDR Therapist Utah
Christy Kobe, LCSW, is a Salt Lake City therapist who has been practicing in the SLC area since Spring 2003. In addition to completing her licensure as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Christy has completed training and certification as an EMDR therapist, in-depth clinical training on Polyvagal Theory Informed Trauma Therapy, certification as a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), clinical certification training to help clients struggling to deal with an individual with a personality disorder in their lives, and completed extensive clinical training on the treatment of trauma and attachment taught by international experts on these subjects.
She works individually with sensitive, high achieving, perfectionistic, or progressive women who are stressed, overwhelmed, burned out, and afraid they are about to break. She is especially passionate about working with clients who have experienced complex trauma, childhood trauma, relational trauma, or religious trauma, including developmental trauma, preverbal trauma, and emotional neglect.
Disclaimer: The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or service.Christy Kobe and all services provided by her are not affiliated with nor endorsed by LPL Financial and RTI Wealth Management. Any opinions or views expressed by Christy Kobe are her own and do not reflect those of LPL Financial and RTI Wealth Management.